Lily's Editing Narrative

             To Edit or Not to Edit

Editing is ever present in all of our lives. More so for those in the English or creative writing fields. Everyone has different experiences with editing, and we all start somewhere, especially with that first truly impactful exchange. My first impressionable editing experience occurred in high school. I was a junior sitting in my advanced English class that I had to take in order to go to the school. My teacher, we will call her Mrs. L, was one of my favorites. She liked me and we always had a lot to say to each other before class began. Once that bell rang, however, it was an entirely different story. On that particular day, we got our grades back from one of our first big essays of the year. I was already apprehensive because our “first draft” consisted of writing our entire paper, polishing it, then stacking them all in a pile at the front of a classroom and randomly handing them out to each other to peer review. Mrs. L never even glanced at them until we turned in our final drafts. Looking back I remember thinking that was very strange.

                I think it is safe to say that universally, high school peer review is less than optimal. On one hand you have the students who have zero interest in reading their own paper, let alone yours, so they mark a line somewhere and call it a day. Then, on the other hand, you have the students who are so overly critical that they miss the entire point of the paper, and you cannot see your original writing through their bright red ink. I was what I define as the rare middleman. I was the person who never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings but also wanted to be helpful. So I touched on the positive aspects of the paper; what was working well. It seemed safe. At least until Alex complained to the boy that I was dating (if you can even call a three-week high school relationship dating) that,

            “Your girlfriend sucks at peer review. Is she just not on our level?”

            “Definitely not, but she’s nice to talk to,” was the definitive response to that from my so-called boyfriend. I broke up with him the following week and decided there had to be more options.

            I wouldn’t say I was surprised when I was handed my paper back, cover flipped down. I hadn’t failed! But that didn’t mean I had passed. I flipped through the notes Mrs. L had left for me and while there were countless markups on my essay, none of them truly said anything: “add a comma”, sure, “cut this line”, ok fine, “your thesis is wrong” …ok…how is my thesis wrong? “I don’t know, it just is,” is what the empty space under that comment said to me. How was I expected to become a better writer if I wasn’t told how to improve my current writing?

            The rest of the year was the same. Drafting, final submission, lackluster teacher feedback, no real improvement, repeat. I ended that year with a “B”, which albeit is not a bad grade by any means, but for someone who used to like writing, was a slap to the face. I learned that in order to receive nice, helpful feedback from a teacher, I would have to write my paper exactly how they wanted it to be written the first time, which was something they would never tell me how to do in the first place. Naturally, I never learned how to do that. One thing that I did know for sure was that I was never going to be a writer.

***

            Majoring in creative writing in college came as a shock to everyone, especially me. I didn’t want to endure more education to begin with. I hated school, was average at it, and was tired of teachers and peers alike reminding me how much better they were than me because they knew how to write concise papers which was an ability I clearly lacked. If I had to go to school, then I was going to go to be a marine biologist, but that included far too much math. Then I decided I liked acting and thought theatre was the best choice. Wrong. Ultimately, my major choice boiled down to the fact that I was seventeen when I started community college, so my mom had to choose it, communications, a choice that I didn’t realize had been made for me until I was one semester away from getting my associates. I had avoided taking English classes until the last two semesters. I needed a break from being told how horrendous my writing was and how I was essentially hopeless. I took a 100-level English course and got an “A” which surprised me, but I figured it was basic, and most people probably got an “A”. Then, I took a slightly more advanced class with a professor who had excellent reviews; however, she had a Ph.D. in English and had zero tolerance for inadequate writing. I was screwed. But by the time I realized this it was too late to drop the class.

            Our first draft of our essays involved a one-on-one meeting with our professor, we’ll call her Dr. C, where she had reviewed and marked up our essays. I was terrified. Not only because of my clear lack of writing ability, but also because in truth, I thought this was going to be a waste of my time. I enjoyed my professor, but I didn’t see the point behind taking time out of both of our busy schedules to sit on a Zoom meeting for fifteen minutes so she can tell me how horrible my paper was. You can imagine my surprise when the first thing Dr. C asked me was,

            “Why aren’t you an English major?”

            When I told her it’s because I have always been told I was a terrible writer and that wasn’t something that could be fixed her jaw dropped. She told me that what I had submitted to her was an “A” paper and what I had was perfect, I just needed a second pair of eyes to show me that it’s ok to cut four sentences down to one if they are all trying to say the same thing, or it’s ok to not use the word “however” every three sentences when changing topics.

***

            Feedback, I have come to realize, is heavily reliant on the person giving it. In general, receiving feedback is supposed to be a nice and helpful experience, think about Dr. C with her feedback literally changing my life. However, as many of us know and have experienced, that is not always the case, as I know with people like Mrs. L. But one good experience and one good professor or peer or whatever the case may be can literally change your entire career path. With this change of career path to creative writing came the exposure to a new kind of editing and feedback. I have come to notice that compared to academic writing feedback and edits, most people in creative writing classes want to be there to help others and also get help themselves. In academic writing, sometimes people have to write essays that they don’t care about and definitely do not particularly care about their peers work either, which is a reality, but a disservice to both the reader and the writer. It is easy to lose your love for something if you are forced to do it with other people who do not care as deeply about it as you do. It can be very discouraging when you are passionate about writing but forced to write according to someone else’s agenda, then forced to read someone else’s work where it is clear they did not give much thought or care into it.

            Creative writing, for one, is much more subjective than academic writing. I find that as an editor, I approach giving feedback much differently than if I am editing an academic work. I focus on the bigger picture rather than being nit-picky with the plot or the character’s personality. If a character had brown hair on page one but blonde on page three, I would comment on it, but I will not comment on the fact that I think Bob is a better name than Dave. It’s unhelpful and frankly, not my story, therefore, not my job to name these characters. I have found I feel similarly about the feedback I have received as well. I get more edits made to my stories on possible oversights in the text on my part than actual criticisms in terms of the story itself, which I think in a school setting, is what needs to happen.

            That is not to say there I haven’t had unhelpful feedback and edits regarding my creative writing, because I absolutely have and still do. But that’s the best thing about feedback, you don’t have to take it. Same with suggested edits. At the end of the day, it’s my piece, whether it be academic or creative. I have the final say and if I like the sentence structure, then I’m keeping it, or if I like this character’s name, I’m not changing it. Editing, is a process, but if I have learned anything, it’s that it doesn’t have to be a miserable one. While I am still apprehensive of peer review and receiving feedback, I think that ultimately, it is up to me to decide whether or not I take those edits and alter my work accordingly, or if I move on and let the suggestion stay as just that, a suggestion.